Matthew 12:33-34

“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

In this passage, Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees addressing them with parables. This certain parable is about a tree and the fruit that it produces. The different trees are correlated to us and the condition of our hearts. For the Pharisees, they were acting like they were really good trees, but everything about them displayed a bad tree. Jesus was hoping they would see the condition of their hearts. The last phrase of these two verses really stuck to me. “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” It makes me really step back and ask myself, “What is the abundance of my heart?” To some people this seems like an irrelevant question because the right answer is Jesus Christ who saved me. I’m learning that just because I know what the right answer is doesn’t mean that that is what I know and hold true and believe in my heart. It isn’t about what we know, it is about what truly the abundance of our hearts is. In Psalms David writes, “I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will you come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house; I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.” God doesn’t look at our outward appearance as the world so often does, He looks deep into our heart and sees all that resides there. Self comes from a worldly heart, self-pity, envy, judgement, all of the things that keep our eyes on ourselves instead of God and others. I was in this heart, this was me. I had envy of others and an expectation, on myself and those around me, making me hypocritical, completely focused on myself.

This was all the abundance of my heart, myself. Being a person who has a lot of expectations from others for my whole life, family, friends, coworkers, etc, I took those upon myself and made myself try to live up to a standard I could never reach and would beat myself up when I didn’t do it right. I was so focused on myself and looking so good and being all that others wanted me to be, that I never saw myself as God does, I looked at myself and others with worldly and temporal eyes, instead of the eyes of the Father and my Creator. My actions, my mouth all that I was, was all about myself. God has been working in my life in a lot of ways and circumstances to further reveal the pride and self in my life, that I wasn’t truly a dead man, I was still trying to live on my own. It all came to a peak this past week on tour when God just really revealed how deep-seeded my selfishness and pride was that ultimately led to hypocrisy and restlessness in my life. It was a breaking point that was so hard to face, but so needed in order for me to realize the true state of my heart and my relationship with the Lord to really kick into a place I’ve never been to before, of an intimacy I’ve never experienced. I cried and cried, completely shattered of all I’ve known and ever thought. The true abundance of my heart was revealed in mighty conviction and I was broken and destitute before the Lord. My restless heart saw all that I was fighting and the sin that I was harboring against myself and others that I was so unwilling to see before. 

God sees us in such a beautiful and pure way that is untainted by this world, because we are completely new in Him. He has no expectation or requirements besides following and seeking and glorifying Him. He desires for His children to see with those eyes, not only for others, but for themselves. God has a marvelous plan for each and every one of us, but if we are solely focused on self, we won’t get to walk that path. I felt God say to me, “See and I do, my precious daughter, I love you.” When I gave up trying to be a certain person or fight alone and I just let God come completely in, peace that no words can explain came over me like a flood. I have started to see as he does, it is a process, but the Lord is revealing to me in each day something new I can see with His eyes and not my own. Life is so much more now because I know that I am resting in Him and I am not, nor ever will be in control. The little things that used to worry me, the expectation I carried is being lifted away. It isn’t something that magically goes away, and each day I have to wake up and give it to Him even on the seemingly best days. A faith I’ve never had before is being revealed to me by God and it is so beautiful. I know that God has me, always, no matter what my friends or family expect for my life, I know that the only person who I am seeking to glorify if God. He knows what he is doing because He sees me as finished, and he is asking me to do the same. He is asking to be the abundance of my heart, and from that, everything else will flow.

My application is to write down something everyday this week that I saw with God’s eyes instead of my own and to truly ask that He be the abundance of my heart.